Extremely Excited, Very Nervous

I'm in Kentucky!!!  How exciting is that?  Did I heard someone ask if I was visiting?  The answer is a resounding nope!  I'm actually here for a job interview.  I know!  A job interview.  How long has it been since I used the hopeful phrase of job coinciding with my name in the same sentence.  So tomorrow afternoon I will be interviewing (in a group interview) at a local elementary school here.  Yup, you guessed it.  I'm extremely excited but very, very nervous.  I think it's hard to think I have tons and tons of competition since it will be a group interview.  My friend JB is right though...just be confident, yourself, and calm, and you will be perfect.  :)  Thanks, JB for the great advice.  So I'm going to end this part of the post right here so I don't jinx myself and so I won't get any more nervous.

As to my quilting, it has been put on hold.  I know I hear some "duhs" going around since I'm away from my sewing things.  At home though, I decided to clear away my projects for about a week and not stress about doing them.  None of them need to be ready as of this second.  So I think this will help me feel industrious again when I start after this week.  I did save up my birthday money and got some good precut fabric.  I also got a new quilt pattern called "Simply Sweet" by Me and My Sister.  It is very simply sweet.  My fingers are itching to sew it right now but I know I need the break.  On a sad, sad quilting note, the local quilt shop here The Corner Quilt Store (literally at the end of our street) is closing forever.  They were sweet ladies with awesome ideas.  So I'm going in tomorrow morning to see if I can find some great fabric at 40% off.  Hopefully, everyone there is taken care of and doesn't have to worry about the job market.

On a completely different page, I saw Angels and Demons the movie.  I think though that I will have to post a whole new post to put all my thoughts about that movie.  Definitely keeping my thoughts under wraps until I do.  Don't  say anything, ET!  I would like to have it as a surprise.  If anyone else has seen it (all my million readers...haha!), please tell me what your thoughts were.  :)

"Gratitude is rooted in the sense that life is a gift."  The Lord Is My Shepard p. 146

I think that quote from Rabbi Kushner's book says it all.  Everything in our lives are gifts, from awesome goodness to horrible evils.  Without horrible evil, would we be able to appreciate all life has to give us.  So yes, I think both go hand in hand.  Here are the things that I am grateful for:

1. I am grateful for my family and friends.  Without them, I would be lost, lonely, and angry.  With them, I am strong, capable, and loved.
2. I am grateful for my health.  I am the one that has the capability to change if my health is better or worse.  I am one of the few lucky that although I am overweight I do not suffer a horrible long list of maladies.
3. I am grateful for my intelligence and love of books.  I am very smart...maybe not in the ways of school always but in the way that I know what I need to know and I am willing to learn something new all the time.
4. I am grateful for all the bad things that have happened in my life.  haha!  I can hear gasps of disbelief.  As I have said, without bad things, I would not appreciate my family/friends/my job/loves as much as I do now.
5. I am grateful for the most important thing of all...my life.  :)

I admit that Rabbi Kushner is definitely at the top of my Most Wonderful, Intelligent People list.  :)

The Good, The Bad, and the Delicious

Right now, I am sitting in the parking lot of the NWS medical center waiting for my dad to be done with this appointment.  Then in a couple of hours we are going to another appointment for his nerve block.  Cross your fingers that hopefully this nerve block will be the thing to stop his pain.  I admit I hate going to the hospital and all doctors, but who doesn’t?  I don’t mind seeing the doctor or even taking the medicine…it’s the waiting that is evil.  I understand it all.  I think I have read at least 10 books, colored 15 file folder games, and written many things while waiting for my dad in his endless appointments for the past two weeks.  I don’t mind especially because the weather is beautiful and I get to stay in the car.

The good is that our next door neighbors were wonderful last night and brought us fresh just picked strawberries.  They were gorgeous and sooo sweet.  I think this week or next is the last week of the strawberry season.  My mom asked, “Why didn’t we plant strawberries?”.  I had bugged her for about 3 weeks to plant strawberries and she of course said we don’t have room.  Well, awesome solution!!!  On the side of our house is a walkway with just lantana.  It gets wonderful sun and is easily accessible.  I told my mom that we could use hanging planters and put the strawberries above the lantana.  I think it solves many problems.  The other one too is that the neighborhood children hopefully aren’t tall enough yet to reach the hanging strawberries.  We’ll see though.



Probably shouldn’t have said that things are bad.  Nothing too much has happened here to really say anything has gone badly.  Unless you count finding a spider in my hair yesterday.  As you can see above, my cat has the right idea.  Reading through osmosis.  Anything that is paper related, he will sleep on.  So of course, when I sat down to read at the counter, who should come up and just fall onto my book mysteriously?  At least he kept my page for me while I went and fixed dinner.

Here’s what I have been reading lately (already have read but willing to read again):

1. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.  I read this book a long time ago but I wanted to read it again before I saw the movie.  I don’t know why I do that when I’m such a book purist.  I hate it when movies make a horrible rendition of the book.  Especially when the movie should really be called “So and So loosely based on the book by So and So…at least we have to the character names down.”
2. The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan.  This is one of the most awesome series ever!!  It is considered a youth book (ages 9-12) BUT he writes beautifully.  Riordan does such an awesome job detailing the characters and bringing Greek mythology.  I definitely recommend this series for everyone.  This is the last book in the series and I admit that I am in love with the ending.  He does a good job wrapping all loose ends without staying too long in one area and keeps the storyline going.  I think that killed it for me with the last book in the Harry Potter series.  We won’t even go into that.  That would definitely be the ugly part of this post.
3. The Lord Is My Shepherd by Harold S. Kushner.  Yes, I have quoted from his book before this but I wanted to still list it.  I finished it yesterday!  I don’t know why it took me so long to finish it though.  It’s a wonderful, easy read.  Rabbi Kushner has a good writing flow that is so easy to follow.  I guess the only thing I can say is that he has so many good points that I read the whole book slowly.  This is such a powerful book.  I would definitely recommend it to anyone and everyone.  I think I'm going to try to pick up his other books also.  Now here’s another good quote from the book that has really touched me.

   “Once we have learned to see our lives as the accumulation of gifts that God has given us, gifts we could not have acquired by our own efforts, once we have learned to appreciate what we have, rather than complain that we don’t have more, because we could have had nothing…”  p.152

4. Hidden Fang, Crouching Vampire by Katie McAlister.  Yes, yes, laugh all you want at the title.  She is probably one of the best authors I have read in a long, long time.  She has the right amount of wit in her stories.  This is a romance novel and so be warned to all of you who don’t like that genre.  I would say though that you should start with the first book of this particular series.  I think she writes a youth series and I’m trying to find those books.
5. The Second Siege: Book Two of The Tapestry by Henry H. Neff.  Yet again, an awesome youth series!!!  This is the second in the series with the third maybe coming out in September of this year.  I like this book because it has magic but it doesn't rely on magical things such as potions and wands (which are good too...after all, I do loved Harry Potter until the last book came out).  This is one that I would definitely recommend for anyone.  Powerful and well written.

I’m sorry that this post is the size of my cat (big, flat and pear shaped).  I hope that everyone is having a good middle of the week and enjoying the beautiful weather (at least here).

Rainy Weekend

What is my fascination with Bridezillas?  Well, I know for a part of it is the fact that I can't believe how evil they are.  It always makes me wonder why their fiances stay with them after seeing this side of them.  Anyway, I watched a mini marathon of them last night and it was pretty interesting.

On Saturday, I helped my younger cousin Ina with her school project.  Oh, the joys of procrastination when it comes to school work.  I would love to meet someone who did not ever procrastinate on any project.  I'm sure there's at least one out there...I am definitely not one of them.  Ina and I spent about 6 hours on this project and she wasn't done by the time I left at 10:30 that night.  She's lucky though that I have read the book and could help her with a lot of the different in depth things.  After helping her, I did feel a little sad about not teaching this year.  I love helping those little ones no matter how frustrating it is at times.  I know something will come up but I have to keep my chin up.  

These flower pictures are from my mom's garden.  Can you imagine what my mom's whole garden looks like?  She has such a green body.  Hopefully, I'll be able to show you soon the tomatoes, eggplants, beans, and peppers we are growing.  :)

Lately, I think I have been in a sewing slump.  I have been sewing, thinking up projects, and looking at gorgeous fabric.  I just can't bring myself to sew though.  I look at my machine sitting across my room and I just can't pick up my feet and clear away the area.  I think I said part of my problem there.  It's too crowded in my sewing area.  I have to move fabric from around the whole area.  I don't have a cutting area and so I use the floor.  That's just irritating.  I think I'm going to have to find a better sewing option before I got crazy.  That's my project for the week.  I have decided to put off sewing anything all week and clean up and organize my area.  Sigh, I have a feeling I'll be dropping off a lot of stuff off at thrift store come the end of the week.

A good surprise was that my brother let me borrow his dog, Casey, for a day and a night.  Don't get me wrong, I love my cat.  But how can you not like to have a dog for a day that follows you everywhere and loves you.  If you have never met a mini schnauzer, I think you might be missing out on something great.  These dogs are a great compact sweet guard like dogs.  Please excuse her appearance in the picture.  I took her to get groomed later that day but wasn't able to get another picture of her before I gave her back to my brother.

A Beautiful Birthday

Yesterday was my 29th birthday.  I admit that it does feel like I am getting old but I love where I am right now.  I don't really want to go back and do anything over again.  I always thought it was funny when people asked "Would you do it again if you knew what you know now?".  Well, I only know now what I do because of what happened in the past.  So I respect the past and think about how it helps in the present and maybe other future situations.  Here's looking back on the year I have had.

1. I finished my second year of teaching.  It was a little bittersweet.  Bitter because I knew that I was leaving the children I love.  Sweet because I was able to survive and learn from my children.
2. I moved to another state for a little while with friends.  That had to be one of the best experiences.  Aside from not finding a job, I did learn a lot about other classrooms and yoga.
3. I learned not to be so cocky about jobs in general.  Just because I'm a teacher does not guarantee having a job, which I should know anyway since I didn't get a job right away my first year.
4. My parents are wonderful!  I don't think I would have ever made it without them.  I know at least one person that would say that I'm being spoiled and my parents are stupid for helping me out.  I say to that person that my parents are helping me because they can and because they know that I am trying hard.  I am probably luckier than her since I understand that.
5. I have finally come to terms that my life will not turn out the way I always thought it would by the time I am 30.  Marriage, children, house, etc.  Yesterday, I realized that's ok.  I have awesome family and friends.  Those other things will eventually happen and enhance my life.

So yesterday morning I went to the school and visited with one of the kindergarten teachers.  I miss my children so much.  I admit to envy for the other teachers as I see them with their classes.  My comfort though is that I will someday have my own classroom again and I get to babysit beautiful children for now.  

After my time at school, I went downtown with ET.  She took me to the "new" theatre called the Hippodrome (it's the old IMAX, sold and bought) to see Star Trek.  One of the most awesome movies in a long, long time!  Plus, how can you not like the hot guys when they are about 30 feet tall?  After that, we went next door to the SC Aquarium.  All those fish were pretty awesome.  It's bad though when you can point out some of the different fish you think you might have eaten recently.  haha!  It was good stuff though.

After that, ET had to clean the house for her godparents that were coming to visit.  So I went to dinner with my friend KC all by myself.  Appropriately enough, we went for sushi.  Oh, how I love you sushi!  Anyway, KC and JB are so wonderful.  They bought me a book I have been coveting and hoping to steal from KC's sister.  It's Heather Ross' book Weekend Sewing.  My hands are itching to start one of those projects.  BUT I promised myself I would finish the 4 different quilts I have in the works first.  I need to clear my small, small sewing space of the extra materials.  When you only have a tiny corner of your bedroom to sew, iron, and cut, it's hard to be very creative.  I'm trying though.

                                                

After a beautiful dinner with KC, I went to ZB's house to have some cake that she made for me!  Loved it!  It was nice to just hang out for a little while.  I want to say thank you to everyone who made my day special either by being with me or just wishing me a good birthday wishes.

I just want to leave on this note.  I am almost through with the book, The Lord Is My Shepherd, by Harold S. Kushner.  I have loved this book front to where I am now.  This quote means a lot to me and hopefully will help you as it has helped me.

So too the psalmist [Psalm 23] is saying to us, When bad things happen to you, the challenge is not to explain them, to justify them, or even to accept them. The challenge is to survive them and go on living. (The Lord Is My Shepherd p. 110)

 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all those beautiful mothers and soon to be mothers.  This year is a little different for us than past years.  We are usually in South Dakota celebrating with my grandmother.  She and I share the same birthday on May 12th and so when it just helps to have a weekend long celebration for both Mother's Day and our birthdays.  I admit that I love the fact that I have the same birthday as my grandmother.  I am the only granddaughter so it makes it that much more special.  Anyway, this year because of finances we weren't able to see my grandmother.  I'm hoping that if I find a job for next school year, then I will be able to visit her for fall break.  It worries me not seeing her at least once a year since she'll be turning 91 this year.  It breaks my heart every time I leave her.  But like others point out, I am very lucky to still have her and she is as healthy as she can possibly be.  :)

Today, my mom went to church early and then to breakfast.  My dad's back is still hurting something fierce and so he slept.  It seemed to be a beautiful day...all sunny and hot when my mom and I went out.  Then after we got home, I fell back asleep.  I have a love/hate relationship with naps.  I love them because I know it's kind of inevitable but I hate them because I feel like I am losing time.  Well, when I woke up, it was pouring rain.  Now if there are people out there reading this not from the South or at least South Carolina, then you might not realize what pouring means to us.  Pouring rain is when you can't see the front fender of your car.  My mom sent me to bring dinner to her friend who had heart surgery.  Not only did I end up hydroplane a lot of the way but ended up missing the entrance to their neighborhood because I couldn't really see it.  I know, I know.  So what, right?  Everyone misses turns all the time.  The issue is that their home is like my second home.  I could probably drive there in my sleep.  Anyway, freak me out.  I love rain but hate driving in it.  Later, my cousin S and I went out to dinner with other friends to celebrate my birthday and another friend's.  We all met at California Dreaming which is right on the water here in Charleston.  Beautiful sights while eating made more interesting by the lightning lighting up the whole restaurant in the floor to ceiling windows.  Great dinner though.  :)

I did promise to show my newest project using the Aviary fabric.  Look how sweet those colors are together.  It will definitely make such a gorgeous baby girl quilt.  I'm definitely going to save this one for someone later.  I don't know yet what design I'm going to use to quilt it.  I don't have a free motion foot or else I would love to try to stipple this quilt.  Sigh!  I'm sure I'll think of something by the time it gets to quilting it.  I think though that I'm going to have to try to finish the coin quilt that I have been working on for a while now.  Plus, I have another project in mind as presents.  Hopefully, I'll be able to show that one soon.  :)

Happy Mother's Day again and good luck with this upcoming week.

The End of a Very Long Week

Right now, I'm watching one of my favorite movies with my cousin, ET.  How can people not like Robin Hood: Men in Tights?  Loved it when I was younger and love it even more now that I understand so much more.  :)  It's definitely a good way to end a long, long week.

Update about my dad:

Monday- Took him to see the Navy doctors.  SOOO different in the than civilian hospitals.  We were in and out within the hour with prescriptions.  They also listened to my dad and he was scheduled for x-rays and a MRI.  And before anyone gets all mighty mad.  I'm not saying that the civilian hospitals/clinics are horrible but there is something about the military that seems so much more efficient.  Of course, that might just be here in Charleston.  A lot of my relatives work in civilian hospitals.

Tuesday- Next on agenda, took my dad to get some x-rays done at the Navy Hospital.  Funny coincidence...I saw some of the teachers from my old school walking the kids to the library for a show.  I do miss those field trips.  I don't know exactly what I'll do next school year if I'm not teaching.  I am trying to keep on the bright side of things and know that I will get a teaching job.  Keep your fingers, toes, hair, and other parts crossed for me.  A bright spot is that ET came over and finished the series, Firefly, with me.  Another good note too is that a good friend of our family got out of the hospital after heart surgery.

Wednesday- Last on the Dad agenda was getting him to the MRI place.  He had to have an open MRI because his stomach is too big and so had to go to another doctor.  I remember when I had to get a MRI done.  I had to go to the open one too but because I am so claustrophobic.  They drugged me up with valium.  It didn't effect in time for me to go under.  I don't think I ever felt so panicked in my whole life.  I cried so much that they taped gauze over my eyes.  Surprisingly enough, it worked.  Nothing else really happened except I pieced the rest of my coin quilt top.

Thursday- I babysat for one of the cutest little girls I have ever met.  We played all day and I think I freckled a little more.  So now I have 2,000 something freckles instead of 1,500 something.  She kept on talking and asking me "something something, right?".  When I didn't understand one time and asked her what she told me, "You are supposed to just say right."  Haha!!!  Too cute.  I babysat for friends of theirs and those children were too cute too.  I have been very lucky in the babysitting department for wonderful children.  :)

Friday- I tried to finish a few quilt tops I have been piecing.  I have also been meaning to bind at least one quilt, quilt two others, and make quilt sandwiches out of another.  I love having so many projects to do.  The only problem is that I don't have a sewing room so all my fabric and other notions are strewn around my room.  I did start a sweet, sweet baby quilt using the Aviary honey bun by 3 Sisters for Moda.  I found the pattern on the Moda bakeshop.  I am in love with the fabric.  Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take pictures of it so far.  Those are coming soon though.

Saturday- Spent the day with ET.  I have missed spending time with her.  All the adventures we have.  We went to see my cousin who is the sweetest cousin ever.  I love her so much.  She'll be turning 13 this year and it kind of freaks me out.  Ina is just getting so old now and doing things like being interested in the other cousin's preparations for the prom.  She was born when I was 16 and I have spoiled since the day she was born.  After we saw, ET and I had to go to Moncks Corner to find a bird shop. ET's dad wanted some zebra finches.  I admit they were cute even though I truly do not like birds.  They just freak me out too much.  I think it's their beady eyes.  And now, we are watching Robin Hood.  Today has been a good day.  :)

Oh, and on Friday we went to another cousin's house since her mom had heart surgery.  All the aunties cooked (fish, pancit, cookies, fish soup, crabs).  I love it all.  Unfortunately, I was given the responsibility to cook the crabs.  Even more unfortunately, I befriended those feisty crabs and named one Dave.  Sadness.  At least he tried to pinch the auntie who threw them in the big hot pot with no water.  Here's a picture of Dave on that fateful day.

Knowing and Actually Knowing

The title is strange I know.  I wanted to make this post about the difference between knowing something and actually knowing something.  Have you ever had a friend or coworker that you saw daily or almost every day for years?  In your mind, you think that "yes, I do know that person."  When asked, though, about her eye color, you stop short and have to think if you actually know her eye color.  I'll admit that I have done that several times throughout the years.  I think I know someone or something so well and then one little piece of information makes you think twice about your knowledge.  Or what about when you make a judgment against someone for her actions and later are in the same situation?  Were you so sure in your knowledge (like I was) that I knew what the right answer was?  I'm not saying that it's right or wrong to judge because I think we're all human and cannot seem help ourselves.  That little saying has helped me when I find myself being too judgmental...everyone makes mistakes and what if you were in that situation.  Who says I could have handled it any better or worse?  What has prompted this outburst of philosophy?  Well, at the end of this sort of fiasco yesterday, I read something that really had me thinking.

"If there are empty spaces in your life, dreams that never came true, people who were once there but are gone now, the purpose of those empty spaces is not to frustrate you or to brand you as a loser. The empty spaces may be there to give you room to grow, to dream, to yearn, and to teach you to appreciate what you have because it may not have been there yesterday and may not be there tomorrow." From The Lord Is My Shepherd by Harold S. Kushner, excerpt from the chapter about "I Shall Not Want" from Psalm 23.  Awesome book if anyone wants it, the ISBN 9781400033355.

Yesterday, my dad ended up going to the emergency room for pain in his lower back and upper right leg.  He's doing well now but yesterday was horrible.  My dad isn't one to complain about any kind of pain.  He would rather just sleep it off or take it.  When he decided to call the ambulance to take to the hospital, we knew it  was pretty serious.  After a VERY frustrating afternoon spent in the ER, everyone was very tired and hungry.  My mom, my dad, and I were waiting for SIX hours.  After 4 hours, the doctor (and I use that term loosely after this) decided that my dad might have had an aneurism.  If that were true, he would have been seen when we first got there.  I tried very hard to put myself in the shoes of the doctors of the ER which is very hard to do after they snapped at my mom to ask the nurses instead of them.  During this whole episode, I kept asking myself, "What would happen if something happened to my dad?"  After reading that passage in Kushner's book, I realize that maybe I need to appreciate my dad more.  He may be a bum, sort of.  He's still my dad and I know that he loves me unconditionally and always wants to help me.  It's hard to realize that your parents are old.

My dad ended up going to the Naval medical station today was seen and given good directions within an hour.  I admit that a lot of people don't like the military but for my parents I think it was good.

The other thing that has me thinking and that passage has helped a lot with is having no job right now.  Technically, I didn't lose my job since I quit to find another job in Kentucky.  Then I couldn't find a teaching job in Kentucky and ended up moving back home.  I always wondered why this happened to me.  This was my "empty space" that also branded me as a loser or at least it felt like that.  I do appreciate very much now the job I had (not that I didn't really appreciate it).  But now I truly understand the job I did and how much I truly loved it.  I know after this I know I truly will appreciate the job I will have after this.  I have found that I appreciate my parents so much more now, if that is possible.  I also know that I have grown and learned from this experience.  I also think it's a blessing in disguise considering I am able to take my dad to all his appointments when he needs them and not have to worry about asking for time off.  It may be frustrating at times but in the end I don't think I would trade this time in.  We'll see what happens in the future.  :)

 

Cat guarding the beautiful roses I got from tutoring a couple of weeks ago.